Dist. 32
by St. Bonaventure
Source text: Public Domain Mark 1.0. English translation/apparatus/encoding: CC BY-NC 4.0, Wroot Press.
https://bonaventure.wrootpress.com/browse/4/d/32/q/bon-sent-IV-d32-littera
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### Chap. I. *On the payment of the carnal debt.*

It must also be known that, although in all other things the man *presides over* the woman, as the head over the body — for the man is *the head of the woman* — nevertheless in the paying of the debt of the flesh they are *equals*. Therefore the Apostle enjoins upon both alike, in this matter, to be subject to one another, saying: *Let the man render the debt to his wife, and likewise the wife to the husband*; because the woman does not have power over her own body, but the man; likewise the man does not have power over his own body, but the woman; because neither does the woman have power over her own body toward another man, nor the man toward another woman, nor does the man have power to abstain nor the woman, without mutual consent; but each has power over the other's body, so that it is not permitted to the one to deny the debt to the other who seeks it. For in this they are *equals*, since it is not permitted either to the man or to the woman to hand over his own body to another, but they are debtors to one another in this matter, lest occasion for sinning be given; through which

the dominion is not taken away from the man, but the vice [is]. « For those joined together owe to one another not only the fidelity of mingling their own sex, for the sake of procreating children — which is the first fellowship in this mortality — but also, for the receiving of each other's weakness in turn, in order to avoid illicit couplings, a mutual servitude in a certain manner, so that, even if continence be pleasing to one of them, it may not be [had] except by the other's consent. For to this neither has power over his own body; which is so true that even what one of them — either he of the marriage, or she — seeks not for the sake of procreating children, but from weakness and incontinence, they should not deny to one another, lest through this they fall into damnable corruptions ». « For to render the conjugal debt is no crime; but to exact it beyond the necessity of begetting is a venial fault; while to fornicate or commit adultery is a crime to be punished ».

### Chap. II. *On continence to be observed by common consent.*

That the man cannot practise continence without the wife's consent is proved by the testimonies added below. For Augustine says: « If the man says: I now *wish* to be continent; but the wife *does not wish*; he cannot. For what you will, she does not will. Shall she through your continence be made a fornicatress? If she marries another while you live, she will be an adulteress. God does not will such a loss to be compensated by such a gain. Render the debt; and if you do not exact it, [still] render it. For perfect sanctification God will reckon it to you, if you do not exact what is owed to you, but render what you owe to your wife ». Likewise: « According to the apostolic words, even if the man had wished to be continent, and you had been unwilling, he would be compelled to render the debt to you; and God would impute continence to him, if he yielded not to his own, but to your weakness, lest you fall into adultery ». « Whoever therefore, having compassion on his wife's weakness, renders and does not exact the debt; or if on account of his own weakness he takes a wife, lamenting rather that he could not be without a wife than rejoicing that he took one, awaits secure the last day ». Likewise: « There can be one sole cause by which we would not only not exhort you to fulfill what you have vowed, but would even forbid [you] to fulfill it: if perchance your spouse should refuse to undertake this with you, from weakness of soul or of flesh. For such things are not to be vowed by married persons except by common consent and will; and if it has been done too hastily, the rashness is rather to be corrected than the promise to be fulfilled. For God does not exact it, if someone has vowed something out of what is another's, but rather forbids the usurping of what is another's ». Likewise: « The Apostle did not will that spouses be defrauded of the carnal debt toward one another even for a time, that they might have leisure for prayer, except by consent ». Likewise: « It is manifest that the Law so willed the woman to be under the man, that none of her vows, which she has vowed for the sake of abstinence, should be paid by her, unless the man be the authorizer by permitting. For since the Law willed that it should pertain to the sin of the same man, if he first permitted and afterward forbade; yet it did not say that the woman should do what she had vowed, because it had already been permitted beforehand by the man. It said it was the man's sin, because he refused what he had first granted; yet it did not for this give a command to the woman that, when the man had first granted it to her, afterward, if he should forbid it, he should be despised ». — From these things it appears that neither the man nor the woman can offer continence to God without common consent, nor ought one to deny the debt to the other. But if either of them has released the other from his right, can he recall [the other] to the past servitude? For this Augustine above seems to have willed. — To certain persons it seems that a woman not departing from the man's house, who, with the man permitting, has vowed continence, cannot, with the same [man] forbidding, dissolve [the vow]; and this on account of the dignity of the man, who *is the head of the woman*. But this is better understood in such a case, where the man grants to the woman to vow continence and, before the vow, forbids [her] to fulfill it. But if he has changed his habit [i.e. entered religion], he cannot be revoked, according to that [text]: « Let him who has permitted his wife to take the veil not take another, but likewise be converted ».

### Chap. III. *When one must cease from intercourse.*

And although the debt must always be paid to the one who seeks it, it is nevertheless not permitted to seek it on just any day. Whence Augustine: « To a Christian it is sometimes permitted to come together with his wife, sometimes not; for on account of the days of procession and of fasts it is sometimes not permitted to come together, because one must abstain even from lawful things, that what is asked may more easily be obtained ». Likewise: « For as often as either the days of the Nativity, or the other festivities, come, abstain not only from the company of concubines, but also from your own wives ». Likewise Ambrose: « If a wife is taken for the sake of procreating children, not much time seems granted for the use itself; for both the feast days and the days of procession and the very nature of conception and birth show that, according to the law, the use of the flesh must cease at these times ».

But to those [words] — [namely] that what was said, that to render the debt is not a sin — there seems to be opposed what Jerome says: « Whoever renders the debt to his wife cannot have leisure for prayer nor eat the flesh of the Lamb ». Likewise: « If the loaves of proposition could not be eaten by those who had touched their wives, how much more the bread which

descends from heaven — cannot it be violated and touched by those who a little before clung to conjugal embraces? Not that we condemn marriages, but that at that time, in which we are to eat the flesh of the Lamb, we ought to have leisure from carnal works ». — This chapter seems properly to pertain to the ministers of the Church, to whom it was not permitted to celebrate the sacred offices and mysteries at the time of conjugal embrace, at which also the presence of the Holy Spirit is not given. Whence the same [author] says: « Lawful wedlocks indeed lack sin, yet not in that time in which conjugal acts are performed will the presence of the Holy Spirit be given, even if he seem a prophet who complies with the office of generation ».

### Chap. IV. *At what times marriages are not to be celebrated.*

Not only in the carnal work are the times to be observed, but also in the celebrating of marriages, according to that [decree]: « It is not fitting to celebrate marriages from Septuagesima until the Octave of Easter, and for three weeks before the feast of Saint John, and from the Advent of the Lord until after Epiphany. And if it be done, let them be separated ». Likewise Nicholas the Pope: « I judge that in no way can it be fitting either to take a wife or to make marriages in the Lenten season ».

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